Doo Doo Pudding

Merry Christmas. Now let’s talk about Muslims . . .
I recently received an email that had been forwarded around the world and back again. The type of thing I usually wouldn’t open, assuming that downloading a picture of some stupid shit, like a kitten in a hamburger bun, would be a waste of precious patience. But the subject line, “AMERICANS NEED TO KNOW ABOUT THESE THREATS!” was all the peep show I needed to read on.
“The attachments are photos from a so-called ‘peaceful’ Muslim demonstration in London. These are pictures not shown on American TV (as they might actually help Bush's War on Terror), but were forwarded to me by a Canadian Friend who thought Americans ought to know!”
When I opened the attachments, I saw scenes of a very emotional protest. There was lots of ferocity in the eyes of these men and women, and among the most vicious signs were BEHEAD THOSE WHO INSULT ISLAM and EUROPE, YOU WILL PAY, YOUR 9/11 IS ON THE WAY and BE PREPARED FOR THE REAL HOLOCAUST.
A message accompanied the photos, imploring, “Please look at these pictures and pass this on to as many people as you possibly can. Americans need to understand why we are involved in a war against terror.”
For real? Is an entire heritage and culture hellbent on killing me just because of the place I was born? Is that the reason our government uses bombs and bullets to force the Middle East into democratic bliss? Are terrorists, like those responsible for the 7/7 murders in London, really powerful enough to stage such rowdy protests without breaking any laws?
Being led to believe these ideas are truly what sustains war. Nationalism isn’t enough to carry a country through any crisis. Every empire has manipulated the power of informing its masses in order to proceed with the business of killing and conquering in the name of whatever they deem righteous.
For example, when the Romans were in the thick of war with the tribes of Gaul on the West Bank of the Rhine, the republic was told that their enemy employed dirty war tactics, such as using women and children as frontline fodder and claiming kidnappings of Roman officers who were already dead in exchange for their own members. It was never the truth. The Pharaohs of Egypt were also cunning enough to utilize a few fibs in their favor. Any time an ecumenical council raised moral questions about slavery, the ruler and his family would stage public conversations with the gods. After a couple minutes of speaking in tongues, the celestial approval was all the proof they needed to put the Jews back to work.
Simple investigative research (a Google search, for Christ’s sake) was all it took to realize that the pictures in this desperate email about buckwild Muslims were actually taken almost a year ago, during a protest over the Scandinavian journals that published cartoons of Muhammad. Not just any cartoons of the prophet’s sacred image, but a depiction of him with a bomb resting on his head, and another letting suicide bombers know he has run out of virgins for them to bone in the afterlife.
Aren’t we beyond the information age at this point? Shouldn’t we be empowered enough to inform ourselves about what is happening in the world around us? After downloading photos and forming an opinion about their images, it seems as if we’ve advanced just enough to forward them to someone else. Coming from someone who still needs help using a microwave, that’s a shame. Not only are the hundreds of people who have been passing around these outdated photos convinced that all this stuff happened yesterday, but they’ve also digested a serving of paranoia in the form of Muslims dominating the world.
Tongue-in-cheek, the caravan of forwarders comment, “Why would anyone think we should be at war with such nice, peaceful Muslims?” These photos are real, and their placards are inciting terror, but I guess I’m a little too numb toward all that. I know first-hand that the Ku Klux Klan's been saying the same stuff for 150 years, and nobody ever dropped a bomb on a civilian territory in Alabama, established Abu Ghraib-esque prisons for mobs of skinheads in Arizona or, Heaven forbid, desecrated their sacred swastikas and confederate flags. Am I supposed to start shaking in my britches now?
I don't defend hate speech when it’s coming from brown folk either, but I honestly don't feel like the people in these photos deserve my attention nearly as much as the people who exploit my taxes for a war I don't support, tap my phone conversations, and put 50 bullets in my ass for no reason at all.
For the last 60 years, the USA has assumed an empire’s roles and responsibilities. The government has made it top priority to talk its citizens into accepting its global and domestic actions ever since it decided to nuke Japan. Today, however, we are fortunate enough to have other sources of information for a deeper understanding of what’s going on. Alternative, independent and socially conscious media aside, everybody has a damn cell phone with a camera and a walkie-talkie on it, so it isn’t much of a stretch to say that anybody could be a reporter.
Maybe we’re just too overworked and underpaid to care about the world around us, so rather than act on our journalistic impulses, we leave that part up to the corporate media entities that eagerly quench our thirst for knowledge with quick and easy news snacks.
If we want to hear something about the war in Iraq, they’ll show us a picture of something on fire and they’ll interview a politician, but who will give you the historical context necessary to follow such a complex situation? Who will remind you about the reasons Iraq was invaded in the first place?
If we want to get some expert opinions on the subject, not trusting ourselves with good conscience, then the broadcasts will fluff up their pundits and the periodicals will squeeze a column around their advertisements, but who will infer the meaningful ideas that relate to you personally? Who will wonder that if the 9/11 attacks had never happened, maybe we never would've attacked Iraq, or, if we never attacked Iraq, maybe London would never have been bombed?
There isn’t an effective formula for informing the masses any more. A dash of war with a scoop of celebrity shenanigans are intentionally mixed together to keep us misinformed, disenfranchised and uninspired. People, please, don’t let Fox be the last source of news you digest before going to bed, just because they broadcast at 10 and you have to wake up early. Please don’t go a whole day with nothing to balance out the headlines from the New York Post, just because there was a copy sitting next to you on the subway. Please, make an extra effort to find the same stories told in a more elaborate, or different way.

Doo Doo Pudding. My grandfather used that expression once. I’m sure that the noble person who first forwarded these photos from their “Canadian friend”, was really trying to enlighten us on a very difficult topic, but we can all learn a lesson from their foolishness. Search for the truth beyond the sensationalism, because when you leave it up to everybody else to serve you up a dish, it might look good, but if you don’t know all the details involved in its composition . . . let’s just say it could be a little hard to swallow.